Life Coaching is Living the Questions. An Exercise in Finding Your Why.

by Dani Fake Webb on January 31, 2010

whyIf I’ve learned nothing in the months since leaping into entrepreneurship, I have learned the importance of knowing your why.

WHY are you doing what you are doing? I mean really, WHY? That clarity is the most important foundation to your success.

As I pondered this question, my answers felt “light.”  I said things like,
“I want to help people.”
“I want women to find their voice.”
“I want to help people find their confidence.”

All of these things are indeed true, but they weren’t compelling. Not to me, not to my audience.

I continued building my business, doing the things I was learning to do, overall just too busy to really focus on the bigger question of why.

Wait. What?

Am I really setting up a business without being CLEAR about the impact I want to have?

That is backasswards.

As I pondered why I wasn’t focusing on my why, I finally found the block: I was playing too small.

The reason my “light” answers to my why were so, well, light, is because I was not thinking big enough. To ignite my little flame of passion into a roaring bon fire, I need to think big. REALLY BIG. So, I asked myself:

“How are you going to change the world?”

That question brings both excitement and fear. Fear because this question is fabulous fodder for my cute little critical inner voice. “Bwahhahaha!,” it says. “You think YOU can change the world?! HEHE – oh, that’s a good one, Dani! How arrogant are you?”

These thoughts are quickly followed by feelings of shame, embarrassment, and resignation.

Wait. What?

I think of Marianne Williamson’s quote, “We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. “

I’ve read that quote. A million times. And only now am I aware that she is talking to me. Yep. Directly. To. Me.

Oh, and to you. Right now. She is talking to you. I am not serving the world by playing small. Neither are you.

So I take a deep breath. I worry not about how others may judge me (well, maybe I worry a little. But I move ahead anyway.) And I answer the question:

How am I going to change the world?

My answer? It came as I reflected on the #1 theme that came through as people commented on my recent journey to run a half marathon. The thing that surprised me the most about that journey was the number of people who told me how much I inspired them. After having been inspired, I watched them take action, real action, in their lives.

I am going to change the world by inspiring people.

There. I said it.

Now, the hard work of getting to the WHY I am going to change the world. It went something like this:

What do you really want to do?

Inspired people take action

Why does that matter?
Inspired people taking action means they are more likely to live their purpose and do what they are meant to do.

Why does that matter?
Inspired people living the life they are meant to live are fulfilled – with a sense of purpose.

Why does this matter?
Inspired, fulfilled people inspire others to be inspired, fulfilled people.

Why does this matter?
Inspired, fulfilled people are more joyful, and dare I say, happier.

Why does this matter?
Happier people have more energy and motivation to love others better.

Why does this matter?
Because love is all that matters.



At the core of all this madness – the busyness, the web site drama, the marketing education, the teleseminars, the journal entries, the business planning, the budgeting, the frustration, fear, joy and excitement – at the core of all of it is love.

How am I going to change the world? Ultimately, with love.
What do I do? I inspire.
Why do I do it? To unleash more lovers into the world.

“Unleash” is defined as “allowing something, especially something previously held in check, to have its full effect.”

I unleash more lovers into the world by inspiring people to live the life they were created to live.

That’s my why. I ask you, what is yours?


Try this exercise:

1. What do you really want to do? <write it down, anything, the first thing that comes, no matter how crazy or unrealistic it seems>

2. Why? <write it down>

3. Whatever you wrote in #2, ask, “Why does that matter?” <write it down>

4. Continue asking (and writing), “Why does that matter?” until you are done. You’ll know.

Until next time, may you love your life today.

Dani Fake Webb

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